Our newspaper included a sample ballot for Election Day 2012, and as I read through the eleven choices for president/vice president of our country, I couldn't help but make a mental list of people that I would like to write in who would, in my opinion, kick ass at running the United States of America. Enjoy...and don't forget to vote!
1. Jack Bauer/Aaron Pierce
If you watched even one episode of 24, then you are very aware that Jack Bauer is capable of saving the country from any situation...no matter how dangerous, or ridiculous. Aaron Pierce is a very loyal member of the secret service, and he was one of my favorite characters throughout the series. If you never saw 24, I suggest you go buy or rent all of the seasons and clear out about 9 or 10 days to enjoy yourself. Here they are, hiding in the bushes:
2. Raylan Givens/Boyd Crowder
Besides Raylan's good looks and Boyd's hair, these two have lots of backwoods swagger and can handle firearms very well. They deal with people who cook and sell meth, so they can handle pretty much anything.
3. Ripley/Sarah Connor
Bad. Ass. Bitches.
4. Dr. Sam Loomis/Mrs. Pamela Voorhees
Though their practices may not be "ethical"...they will get shit done.
5. The Highwaymen
If anyone can tackle tough issues, Waylon, Willie, and the boys can. And if you have ever listened to the song "Highwayman", they have everything covered: highwayman, sailor, dam builder, starship pilot...just sayin'.
6. Ron Burgundy and the Channel 4 News Team
"Brick killed a guy."
7. The Three Amigos
"Wherever there is injustice, you will find us..."
8. Dr. Emmett "Doc" Brown/Marty McFly
We could probably use a little time travel to the past to save our future.
9. Drew Brees/Aaron Rodgers
They just seem like really nice guys.
10. John Hall/Daryl Oates
This one is for my Spotify/Soundrop peeps. No duo can do an album cover like Hall and Oates...not no one I tell you.
11. Gary Oldman/Tom Hardy
Okay, okay, they are British. I said in a perfect world...my perfect world.
12. People who don't need a running mate:
Chuck Norris
Bill Murray
13. Christopher Guest/Michael McKean
These two geniuses can improvise themselves out of or in to any situation that would arise in office.
14. Honorable Mention for my sister, Brittany: Russell Edgington /Rev. Steve Newlin
This pair would be the go to choice for those who support Gay American Vampires.
15. The Regulators
"We're in the spirit world asshole, they can't see us." They are The Regulators. Period.
16. Rick Grimes/Daryl Dixon
Since I am an advocate for ZAP (Zombie Apocalypse Preparation), I can't think of two better candidates.
And my last two suggestions: since the country is going down the drain anyway, why not go for pure entertainment?
17. Mike Tyson/Larry Merchant
If you don't know who Larry Merchant is do yourself a favor and google him...he obviously drinks a lot. And, no, I can't tell if those birds are wearing sweaters or if that is just their natural coloring.
18. Nic Cage/Gary Busey
There would never be a dull moment.
