ZPac and the Holograms

ZPac and the Holograms (I am submitting this for an online writing spot...so I thought I would test it out here first)

Like every 33-year-old white female, I was so excited to see that Tupac resurrected for Coachella (ask anyone in high school in the mid to late 90s…we were all down with Pac).  I would have given anything to be in the desert with all the celebrities and hipsters when zombie Tupac rose to the stage with Snoop…what a magical moment (not to mention he is in phenomenal shape).  That night, Twitter was on fire with reports of ZPac (I like the sound of zombie Tupac, so just work with me), and there were also a few great jokes about which deceased celebrities should join Snoop and Dre the following weekend; the best suggestion that I saw was Bea Arthur!  The next day, the video was posted everywhere, and most people were very impressed at the chill inducing performance whether they were a huge rap fan or not; it was a really badass music festival moment. So, what is the big fuss about? 

Several articles this week have revealed with disgust the discussion of taking ZPac on tour.  I get that there are ethical questions, like who actually owns a deceased person?  Let’s face it, if Snoop and Dre take ZPac on tour, they would make lots of money!  Not only tour profits, but Hologram Tupac has his own Twitter page with around 50,000 followers after a few days; he has become quite the celebrity this week.  ZPac is by far not the first dead person to be brought back to life through technology, so why is this situation different?  One article in particular from Yahoo! Contributor blog “Stop the Music” revealed that though this has been done numerous times for commercials, this instance is extremely different.  In the past when a celebrity or athlete has been “resurrected,” archived footage of the individual from the past was spliced with a live performance or with footage filmed for a commercial, promotional video, or short film.  ZPac, however, was given all new moves and a new performance routine that were only based on past performances.  The blog explains “If people want to watch Tupac dance Swan Lake, it is now entirely possible.”  This is where the big fuss starts…so we can now take the image of deceased stars (or Hitler) and make them do whatever we want?  What if someone decides the Golden Girls would be great if they all acted like the Kardashians?   Or that Michael Jackson should sing country music or opera?  Or that Dick Clark should continue to host New Year’s Eve until, I don’t know, 2057?  This would be disturbing and awkward for everyone.  I would love for Chris Farley to appear at my birthday party, but would that be right? What if he didn’t want to come as Matt Foley and hated all my friends?  I would be selfish for making him come to my party.

I see the exciting side and the disturbing side of the discussion of the digital zombie.  The act of “someone” capitalizing from the dead will never go away; for example, Whitney Houston has sold more records since her death than she has in years.  Correction…Whitney hasn’t profited at all, but someone has.  My main issue with the method used for the Coachella performance is that the deceased person has no say in what they are doing or performing, so we have to ask ourselves how fair that really is to the artist.  What if 2Pac would have hated what ZPac did?  Like I said earlier, I loved it, and I am sure after the drug induced festival attendees stopped freaking out about the dead man on stage, the set was an amazing performance to see live.  I think that at the end of the day, like all zombies, we only need zombie holograms in very small doses, and really, we shouldn’t make them prance around doing things that we would like to see. And honestly, using technology to make impossible situations possible could end up coming back to haunt us.

"Out Damned Spot" - Dealing with Effing Psoriasis

This week is Psoriasis SpeakOut Week, so I wanted to post my experience with this condition since I have been posting links about supporting the Psoriasis and Psoriatic Arthritis, Research, Cure, and Care Act.

Since nothing else currently works to cure this condition that has plagued me for fourteen years, I will just bitch about it in a blog post. Fourteen years ago on a lovely fall Bid Day, I felt the need to slide down the mudslide at the KA house (shout out to all fellow Bid Day sliders through the years) about eleven times in the rain and mud. This was the year that the slide was really crappy, like just visqueen and Dawn (the next year it was like a slide at Wild River Country). The next day, I realized that I had scrapes and cuts all over my body. Several weeks later, some of the spots were still there, so Melissa, my mom, hauls me to the dermatologist in Ruston because she KNOWS that I have psoriasis. My mom, my aunt, and my grandmother all have psoriasis. My dad's grandfather, Papaw Frank, had psoriasis, and now, my dad has psoriasis. Therefore, my mom knew what she was talking about.

So, off to the doctor we go, and what I learned there, kids, is that when you drink 45 beers (exaggeration...the octopus funnel didn't arrive until the next year if I remember correctly) and smoke cigarettes in the back of a truck filled with ice and cans of "The Beast" in the rain, your immune system gets pissed off at you. So, in the fall of 1998, I was diagnosed with psoriasis.

I'm going to be honest, I don't remember them really bothering me for the rest of my undergrad years and even the beginning of grad school.  I know they were there, and every now and then there would be more than usual...but I really was too busy to be concerned with it.  I was not at all living a healthy lifestyle, but I was tanning all of the time which now I know is sort of helpful.  

I graduated from grad school and broke off a very long relationship in May of 2003.  That summer, though one of the most fun times of my life, was basically a really long party.  I had gotten a job for the fall at ULM, but all of my friends were still in school, so even though we had all moved to Twin Oaks and out of our big party house, nothing really changed!  One weekend in August, X-Tina and I journeyed to the Big D to visit Lex, and when we got back on Sunday I had a fever.  The next day at work (shout out Lewis and Company) I felt like crap and had a really bad sore throat. In a matter of days, most of my body was covered in psoriasis. 

Of course, I freaked out and went to El Dog, and Mom got me in to see her derm there. He gave me a steroid shot and told me I had guttate psoriasis which is caused from a high fever or virus. The shot didn't really work (I later found out that the steroid actually made it worse), so I found a doctor in Monroe. We will call her Dr. Pretentious.  Since I was covered in red spots, I felt like I needed to get with the program of what the hell was happening with my body.  At first, she was very helpful.  She put me on antibiotics and gave me several prescriptions for lotions and creams.  She also explained to me what psoriasis is all about.  Here are the basics:
1.  It will most likely never go away
2.  It is an autoimmune disorder, which I like to dramatically remind Rob about to get out of doing things of to justify being irrational
3.  My body thinks something is wrong so it is overproducing cells.
4.  The most successful drugs are ones that are injected and some are used on cancer patients.  These biological drugs screw with your DNA, and you shouldn't use them if you ever want to have kids (I am sure everyone has seen the ads for these on TV)
5.  Things like alcohol, smoking, stress, bad diet, and lack of exercise make psoriasis worse (oh really, yeah, I'm kind of dating a bartender at Rabb's where I spend most of my time drinking Captain and Coke (not diet), we sort of lay around in our free time eating Sonic and watching football,  I'm starting my first real job, I like to dance though, sooooo....)

I can't explain how bad this little guttate psoriasis episode was.  My hands were peeling and hurt so bad.  Psoriasis is associated with psoriatic arthritis (this is what Phil Mickelson has), so my joints were hurting really bad.  So, here I am with red spots all over me, hands peeling and about to start teaching 18 years old...I was so terrified.  Dr. Prententious really did help at first.  However, one thing that she suggested is that I get sun, either from tanning beds or natural because I told her it really helps.  The next visit, I waited two hours because she had started doing cosmetic procedures, and when I said I was still tanning, she freaked out and told me if I needed a tan she did spray tan for only 55 dollars a visit...what the hell Dr. Pretentious.  So, I was done with her. The guttate psoriasis cleared up, but they have really never been mild since that happened.

I went to another doctor my mom found in Arkansas, we call him Doogie Howser because he looks so young. He was the first to stress how important it is that I have kids before I take any biological meds or injections.  He was great, and I went to him several times.  I went to another doctor who asked me "what I expected to get from the visit" if I wasn't interested in injections.  I left her office in tears. Now, I have finally found a wonderful doctor.  She started me on light therapy, which is like a tanning bed but only the good rays, and my condition has improved so much.  We are doing my therapy as a "trial" to show the insurance company that I need a home sun lamp, so I have my fingers crossed that everything works out. 

There have been times they have really bothered me.  I have them on my elbows, forearms, knees, and the bottom of my legs, mainly the outside of my legs.  I have dressed to cover them up; I have not gone to weddings before because I didn't want to wear a dress; I have cried about having them; I have worn jeans or long sleeves when it was hot as balls outside, which is all the time in Louisiana; and I have tried to be really funny when people ask me "oh my god what happened to your leg?" And trust me, there is always a jackass that is going to ask you what is wrong with you.  One time, Rob and I came up with all of the things I could tell people; for example, "I was attacked by a wolverine" or "Someone threw acid on my legs."  Someone always assumes that it is poison ivy too, so I have to explain that it is not poison ivy and not contagious.  One time, one of the pedicure girls questioned me for 10 minutes before she would do a pedicure.  I recently read where a woman was turned away from a spa because she has psoriasis; she is suing the shit out of the spa too by the way. There have been times that I have been just mad that I have to deal with them.  I also get angry when someone complains about something that seems insignificant to me like a zit or something they don't like about themselves.  All I can think is, okay assface, you think you have weird knees, well I have red spots all over my legs that sometimes burn and itch, so I win.

When my psoriasis flare up, I will go on these manic searches on the internet and through books to find home remedies or some miracle cure.  I have tried almost everything, and I still don't know exactly what makes them better or worse.  I do know that I have to relax.  Stress is the worst possible thing, and since I started running in 2010, I can tell a huge difference.  Luckily, I have a husband who could care less if I had one big red spot on my face for everyone to see (though he would probably make a joke that it is because I am from Arkansas).  I have friends and family that have never made me feel self-conscious about the fact that I have psoriasis.   I also think because I am older and sort of don't give a shit what people think about me anymore I don't worry about it as much.  One thing that I do know is that when I read articles or search for "cures" online I always find pictures of people who have psoriasis much worse than I do.  There are some people who have 90% of their body covered by plaques.  This always makes me realize that my situation could be worse, and I would never want to make that person feel uncomfortable because the feeling that someone is making up assumptions about what is going on on your leg by staring at your leg really sucks.

Birds and Fish and Zombies?

This post was originally posted on 01/04/11 on my first blog, Soppin' Biscuits.  Since I decided two blogs would be best, I wanted to move this to Awkward Amusement because it fits the "vibe" of this blog a little better!  I will also be posting about our first camping trip soon...so since I packed and prepared for the apocalypse before camping, I thought this was a good read before I post the new one!

This is my first ever blog post. Being the new year and the start of my "blogging," I have pondered writing about resolutions, my background, how much diets suck, the general "goings on" of Rob and I; however, I want to write about the recent news of dead birds and fish. Yes...this is probably a disease or a natural freak show sponsored by our crazy weather. But...being a fan of horror films, I can think of about ten films that have this type of situation somewhere in the plot. I love these movies; they are the scariest type of horror film because you think "What would I do?" after you watch them. Most notable are movies involving a government mishaps (The Crazies), the end of the world, and my favorite...zombies.
Two summers ago, one of my students wrote her research paper on the idea that the world would end in 2012. My student used a source that listed the situations to prepare for and the site even sold "End of the World Party Kits." I listed several of my personal survival tips on my Facebook page that I will add to the end of this post for fun. Like every conspiracy theory and disaster or tragedy that happens in the world, I became occupied with how I would survive the situation. This is also something that Rob and I talk about after EVERY movie that we see
One particular survival discussion that Rob and I had stands out to me; this conversation occurred after we saw Zombieland (which is hilarious and one of my favorites). Rob made the comment that he didn't think that I would be able to hang if we had to flee our home due to zombies or, you know, the apocalypse. I was totally offended. I said "Lucy and I will be able to keep up just fine." I plan to put Lucy in a papoose and carry her in the event of a zombie attack, by the way. His reply, "I would let you come....when you start slowing me down, I will snap your neck and eat you." This is one of my favorite stories to tell people, and trust me, he was dead serious. And we vowed to shoot one another if either of us became a zombie...I would probably secretly keep Rob chained up in a shed with an XBox like Shaun does Ed in Shaun of the Dead; he will be a zombie and will never know if I do that! We agree that I would probably bring items that would not help our cause, like a "Zombie Mix" CD, and I would want to update my Facebook status regularly. I did just finish reading Under the Dome by Stephen King, so I am going to start stockpiling propane. Surely the knowledge we both have from years of horror films will keep us alive if the bird/fish situation manifests into something crazy. Another positive we have on our side now is Rob's new machete that he got during Dirty Santa at the Martin Family Christmas this year (photo to follow).
We all know that recently the guy who predicted the end of the world via the Mayan calendar changed his mind and moved the "end of the world" forward 50 years...lucky us. So, we can put that off for a little while. Hopefully, this crazy bird/fish situation will be explained and we all don't go "Walking Dead" from drinking the water. So, I guess that zombies go along with the little messes of life that you can sop up easier with a machete and your favorite zombie mix tape...here are my survival tips from Facebook...they were a hit; I guess I should keep adding to them! Enjoy!
Megan's 2012 Survival Tips:
1. Some predict that there will be a "rise of the machines" (think Terminator, decepticons, or a really evil Johnny 5). I suggest building special relationships with your appliances immediately, like a plant or pet. When you start to feel like your blender is turning on you, go Office Space on it.
2. In the event of tidal waves, have a flotation device ready. I suggest a brightly colored one with a cup holder. You will be rescued easier and can have a cocktail as you float. Or a raft shaped like Shamu or a gator; this will lighten the mood for your friends and repel any dangerous marine creatures.
3. Many firestorms ("a storm in which violent winds are drawn into the column of hot air rising over a severely bombed area") may occur. You can imagine how uncomfortable this will be. Therefore, have handy a tank top, hot pants and roller skates. You stay cool and can out-skate any blasts of flames.
4. In the event of asteroids or NEO's (near earth objects) hitting the earth, "If you live near a cave system, you may want to go and set up a temporary shelter there." Obviously. Once you are secure in your cave, light a fire at the opening. This will prevent animals from entering the cave. Though living in harmony with the animals may seem appealing during the apocalypse, remember, the wolverines and bears are going to be just as hungry as we are!