Sometimes I Think There Could Still be a Chance: Childhood Crushes

Yesterday, a Facebook friend tagged me in his blog post about his childhood crushes requesting that I write about the same.  This is for Michael Cary...here are my childhood crushes:

I think the first time I remember thinking "I would like to marry that man" would be when I first saw Dike Van Dyke in Mary Poppins.  He was a chimney sweeper, and I guess that was exotic to me.  Later in my life, I would find out that chimney sweeps rarely made it past their early teens because the job was dangerous and most of them died young.  Anyway, he could dance and sing and played like 5 characters in the movie, and he knew penguins, so...  He also has really pretty blue eyes.  He is still a hot old man today.

The first time that I watched Dukes of Hazzard, I thought it was the best thing I had ever seen.  I also fell in love with Bo Duke, played by John Schneider.  He was so cute with his tight jeans and floppy hair.  I remember having all of the toy cars from the show, several iron on t-shirts, and I got a "paddling" one time for hiding after recess in kindergarten to stay outside and play "Dukes of Hazzard."  I always wanted to be Daisy so could I drive around in that fine ass car with "those Duke boys."  Now I realize that would have done me not one bit of good considering they were cousins. I would also like to add that John Schneider still has it going on...Tom Wopat, not so much.

My musical crushes could not be more different. 

First there is CC DeVille from Poison (whose real name is Bruce by the way, wtf).  There were very few hair metal guys that I would say I had a crush on, but CC for sure did it for me.  I also liked Sebastian Bach and Steven Adler, so the common denominators would be heroin and lovely blond hair.  I don't really know what else to say about him.

Next, I had it really bad for Ad Rock of the Beastie Boys (let's face it...I sort of still do).  I think that I wanted to like Mike D when I first saw the "Fight For Your Right" video because he seemed shy and sweet, but in the end, I couldn't resist Ad Rock's rhymes that came through his nasal cavity, and of course, his pager. (RIP Mike D)

Of course, I was a NKOTB fan.  My favorite was Donnie.  I was 100% we would marry one day.  I chose this mugshot because this is when he almost burnt down a hotel really proving to world that he was a bad boy...not some boy band member.  Notice the rat tail...pure sex.

Next up, Chris Penn from Footloose; he played Willard, the sidekick.  He would be the first in many "sidekicks" that I always liked better than the leading man:  Cameron rather than Ferris, Garth rather than Wayne, etc. I think that his girlfriend, Rusty, played by Sarah Jessica Parker appealed to me just as much as Willard did.  The scene where they go to the bar across the bridge and Rusty is just dancing around...I wanted to be her so bad.  She was short with a cute boyfriend and looked like all the other girls then.  I looked like a baby giraffe. I always liked Chris Penn in movies even after he ate himself.  He was such a good actor; it is so sad that he passed away. 

In the sports world, I have had many favorite players, but very few that I would say I had a "crush" on, except John Elway.  And this is strictly younger John Elway; the man looks like the long lost Ryan triplet now, and it scares me to think he made me swoon.  It was probably the blue eyes.  My husband gives me crap about my Elway obsession of the 80s. 

I had a big thing for Christian Slater.  I think at one point my only favorite movies were movies starring Christian Slater.  I also had a poster of him on my wall from Sassy magazine, true story. This is him in Gleaming the Cube...one of my favorite movies at some point.

Now for the big three that still make me weak in the knees:

3.  James Spader

James Spader played the biggest dickhead ever in Pretty in Pink, but I just loved him, granted his name was Steff.  He had beautiful hair, lots of money, a lovely white suit, and he smoked in the hallways of the school which just, I mean, he smoked in the hallways (and he looked 27, didn't he??).  I still love James Spader; his recent work on The Office is wonderful.  A friend recently described him now as "bacchanal" and I think that is the perfect description without saying that he has eaten himself and is sort of crazy. SIDENOTE: He is also the original  Mr. Grey in Secretary...so take that 50 Shades of James Spader did it all first.

2.  Kiefer Sutherland

He was a hot vampire that was still a mean vampire, so he wins, Edward.  There are too many reasons to list why I love Kiefer Sutherland, so I will just say this:  Jack Bauer.

1.  Gary effing Oldman

I first fell in love with Gary Oldman when I saw The Professional.  He played a crooked, coke-snorting cop who wanted to kill a little girl...what's not to love.  I don't know what it is about Gare-bear, but I just adore his crazy ass.  He rarely plays a person that is normal, but I love him.  I am the first to admit it is a weird, sick thing with him, especially considering our age difference, but I think if we just met one time....just kidding!